I had one of the best Labor Day weekends of my life in Montana at a friend's ranch. We flew out Friday afternoon and ate dinner in Bozeman at the Emerson Grill. I was introduced to flatbread pizza and observed a Christian meeting filled with a Simon Says drum circle and weird dancing moms.
The next day I herded cattle. Yep, you heard me. Herded cattle. Just like a real cowboy straight outa Palo Alto. Having barely ridden a horse before I trotted, cantered and whooped as we moved those behemoths across the ranch. I felt awkward shouting at the cows to let them feel my presence, but a more experienced cowboy cracked a whip and shouted "Party's over, let's go cows!" I manned the right flank and kept a watchful eye on any unruly cows looking to deviate from the pack. Basically, I walked along the road on the right watching everyone else herd the cows.
Oh, a nice sight was seeing a baby cow getting milk from its mom only to have mommy squirt liquidy excrement on its face. Real nice.
Herding cattle was so much more fulfilling than a normal horsie ride because there was a purpose and I actually got to ride fast. When I've ridden on horses before I only walked because I hadn't ridden much before. In retrospect, riding horses really isn't that hard.
I hiked to Gobbler's Knob after the ride and had a grilled steak and salmon meal for dinner. Despite being on a 100,000 acre ranch everyone took the time to honor a glorious American tradition. Watching college football. For the rest of the night we ripped on the sole Cal fan as his team demolished the hapless Terps of Maryland. Somehow the association of Cal cheating got extrapolated to an offsides penalty on the Cal defense.
"Look, they cheat so much they even cheat while playing football. Look at them jump offside!"
My friend and I played a game of Monopoly that night, a personal fav of mine. Being an experienced vet, I dominated. Being the loser, my friend pointed out that I had landed on Free Parking 3 times and that of the 10 chance / community chest cards I drew, they all ended up paying me around $100 each. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm not quite as much of a Monopoly genius as I thought.
After 10 hours of sleep my friend, his dad and myself went mountain biking. It was my first time and I was in for more than I bargained for. We were gone for 5 hours, went 15-20 miles, gained at least 3,000 ft. of elevation, bushwacked after losing the trail and I crashed and fell into a creek. But it was also very fun and a great experience. The climbs were grueling; I was in gear 1'1, the easiest gear, for a lot of the time and I had to get off and walk the bike multiple times. I plowed through cow shit at a high speed and sprayed turds on my leg.
We stopped at Cabin Creek, pronounced "crick" by cowboys and rested, ate and fished. Instead of heading back to the ranch we continued heading away from the ranch through Elk Park. There were awesome downhills and I chased cattle along the road on my bike. The cows were dumb and clopped along the road where I could continue pursuing instead of taking two steps off the road, where I would leave them alone.
This is where we got lost and spirits were not high. I was bonking from a lack of food and it was tough work walking the bike through chest high grass. Thankfully my friend's mom showed up on horseback. It didn't really mean much, but allowed a long break to eat and drink and sit in the shade. Good thing we had two brutal climbs right after our break.
My butt and wrists were sore from being in the saddle and getting jolted around and I have two matching blisters on the sides of my thumbs. Gnarly.
Despite my bitching the bike ride was one of the most fun parts of the trip. It's just easier to point out the negatives and setbacks than articulate the positives. I think actually the overall toughness of the ride was probably what made it so much fun. Experiences like those are great to look back on and reflect.
If the ride was the best day activity, that night's meal was the best dinner. A family friend treated us to all you can eat pizza night at a restaurant in Livingston. The whole way home he was commenting on how he'll remember how much I ate and how I got the most value for my meal. I had 11 slices, yep 11. And I could have eaten more, but I was feeling awkward because everyone else was long done and was clearly ready to leave. Broccoli, red onion, gouda and olive oil pizza. Steak and sliced jalapeño. Caramelized onion and sausage. Pepperoni. Chicken pesto. It was so good.
And I can't leave out the ping pong. That made up the most 1 on 1 time with my friend of the trip. We played 39 games of ping pong to 21 over 3 days. Both of us got much better and both of us being extremely competitive, lost our tempers on numerous occasions. It was so close the winner won 20 games to 19. There was smack talk, groans of disappointment, quiet fist pumps after a big point, rallies with both players way behind the table, sweating, demoralizing losses, huge slams, cracked balls and pleasure over great ping pong.
Thanks so much for a great weekend. I appreciate you guys inviting me up to the ranch.
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