Conceptual Questions for False Memory

1. Why are memories of my elementary school days important for me?

This fits in with my memory because it is a mostly positive, nostalgic recollection of an otherwise negative experience from when I was in 2nd grade. I could elaborate and try to explore why exactly what it is that pulls me back to Duveneck, why these recess periods bring a smile to my face.

2. How does my personal experience with my Duveneck friends now have a bias on how I write about them?

I have limited memories of how my friends were back in elementary school, so I tended to write about them using more current memories of them. This addresses the issue of what experiences or at what age in our life do we make judgments on our friends. I could go off on tangents about my friends individually and how they've changed or stayed the same.

3. Why is the fear of "getting sent to the principal" have such significance through the eyes of a 2nd grader?

Over the years my fear of getting in trouble have diminished greatly. Sure, I definitely don't want to get in trouble at all, but no longer does the stereotypical fear of hearing my name across the intercom paralyze me. There is room at the end of my memory for more detail on this concept.

Favre Stuns 49ers with Last Second TD Pass

Favre after his game-winning TD pass and Vernon Davis hauling in 1 of his 2 TDs.

9/27/09

The 49ers were on the verge of victory Sunday afternoon. Shaun Hill had just connected with Vernon Davis for a 20 yd TD reception with about 8 min. left in the 4th quarter to give the 49ers a 24-20 lead. After trading 3 and outs the Vikings had the ball at their own 20 with no time-outs and less than 2 min. to play. And that was when Favre took over and led an incredible drive that culminated in a 32 yard TD pass to Greg Lewis with only 2 seconds left. The Minnesota Vikings won 27-24.

It was a heart wrenching loss for the 49ers who would have been 3-0, in easy command of the NFC West and face the Rams next week. Even after the 9ers punted the ball away to the Vikings, a win seemed inevitable. After all, they had 80 yards to go in about a minute and a half with no time-outs. Even after Favre completed a few passes you thought, "hey, no problem, the 49ers will get a stop, we're still in control." That uneasy confidence quickly turned to nervousness as the Vikings advanced into 49ers territory but it was still "Ok, they completed a few passes, but they still need a TD, a field goal won't win it and they only have time for like 2 more plays." And that nervousness evaporated in an instant to feelings of shock and anger. "No!!! F$&*! No way! Wait, maybe he didn't get his feet in bounds. Oh, he did. Favre I hate you."

As much as my pain was for the 49ers loss, I have serious respect for Brett Favre. This was the latest, in terms of time left in the game, game winning TD pass he has thrown in his career. He eluded a 9ers defensive lineman and threw a rope while getting smacked to the ground. Greg Lewis, who hadn't caught a pass all game, was still behind the 49ers defensive back and Favre led him and put the ball in a perfect spot. Lewis slid behind the d-back and managed to drag his right food inbounds. But, I still can't believe San Francisco couldn't have knocked it down.

Favre's heroic comeback marred a great day for 49ers TE Vernon Davis. Davis caught 7 passes for a career high 96 yards and 2 TDs. He is a team captain and coach Mike Singletary helped to turn Vernon around. After the incident last season when Davis was sent to the locker room in the middle of a game by Singletary, Vernon has developed a lot of respect for Coach Singletary and Singletary calls him "the most misunderstood player on the team."

In other not so good news for the San Francisco 49ers, Frank Gore re-aggravated his right ankle on his first carry of the game. It is reported that he has a high right ankle strain and will likely miss at least 2 games.

Sidney Rice started off the scoring with a 30 yard touchdown catch. It was aided by a big 30+ yard run by Adrian Peterson, who toted the rock 19 times for 85 yards. The 49ers kept Peterson in check though, and did a great job at containing one of the league's most dynamic rushers.

After four 3 and outs to start off the game, not to mention Gore being carted off the field and playing at the Metrodome, the 49ers scored their first TD on a short pass to Vernon Davis. Their first first down that wasn't because of a penalty came with 9:43 left in the 2nd quarter.

Despite the loss of their best offensive player, the 49ers were able to move the ball and Glen Coffee, Gore's back-up filled in and did a solid job against the NFL's best rush defense. But the 49ers offensive success lies on Gore's shoulders, and if this injury keeps him out for a while, San Francisco could be in trouble.

Vikings kicker Ryan Longwell had 2 FGs in the first half and was about to give the Vikings a 16-7 lead on a field goal to end the half. Minnesota had all the momentum, but Ray McDonald and Nate Clements refused to go into the locker room trailing. McDonald stuffed Longwell's 44 yard attempt and Clements scoopd it up and took it 59 yards to the house. The 49ers, in a huge momentum swing, took a 14-13 lead into halftime instead.

Joe Nedney kicked a 37 yard FG after Shantae Spencer's INT and the 9ers, with a 17-13 lead, seemed in control of the game. But, in a game that changed leads so suddenly, the Vikings struck back. Florida rookie WR Percy Harvin took the ensuing kickoff down the middle of the field 101 yards for a TD. Harvin, a former trackstar, and one of the fastest players in the NFL was not going to let the kicker get a fluke tackle on him. This gave the Vikings a 20-17 lead in the 3rd quarter.

But, the 49ers once again showed their resiliency and scored on Vernon Davis's 2nd TD catch of the day. It was set up by long reception by Isaac Bruce and Davis and was after the 49ers were backed up by a penalty and had a 2nd goal at the 20. This came with about 8 min. left in the game.

After Mike Singletary successfully won a challenge, arguing that Brett Favre was over the line of scrimmage when he made a completion for a first down late in the 4th, it seemed like an omen that the 9ers would win. But then maybe I should have taken the fact that the 49ers were 0-11 on 3rd down conversions for the game as a bad omen. If SF could have gotten 1 first down after holding the Vikes on a 4th down play, they would have won the game. But 3 runs by Coffee were stuffed, the ball was punted away, and Favre worked his magic.

Favre's statistics: 24-36, 301 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT. He was the first Minnesota QB to throw for over 300 yards in 63 games.

Picture URLs:

http://www.49ers.com/news-and-events/article-1/49ers-Lose-27-24-to-Vikings/4fb399ef-aaf0-47b4-bee3-672a8f911317

http://www.vikings.com/media-vault/photo-gallery/Regular-Season-Game-No-3-vs-49ers---Gallery-II/8d7334b1-19ad-4958-88de-61a64f3a2390

Giants Give up Hope

Zambrano shut the Giants down Friday night.

9/26/09

The Giants put forth their best pitcher Friday night against the Chicago Cubs in an apparent desperate bid to make the NL Wild Card. But despite Timmy Lincecum taking the mound, the Giants had already given up on the playoffs.

Buster Posey started behind the plate for Bengie Molina, who the Giants plan on shutting down for the season. The wear and tear of the season has really Bengie recently. Before the game it was announced that SS Edgar Renteria would have season ending elbow surgery to clean up bone spurs and chips in his right arm.

I went to the game last night with my dad and some friends, confident that with Tim Lincecum pitching the Giants would get to put another win in the W column, despite not making the playoffs. The game was over though in a blink of an eye, with the Giants losing 3-0 against Carlos Zambrano's dominant effort.

It seemed like we had hardly settled into our seats along the left field near the foul pole, when it was the 5th inning with no score. The Giants had gotten only 1 hit, by Juan Uribe in the bottom of the second neither pitcher was allowing much.

I met up with some other friends and we watched the game from one of my favorite spectating places at AT&T Park, the railing right in front of the "mitt." You are above the field, get the bleachers atmosphere, can people watch the milling crowd down below, have a great chance at getting on the Jumbotron (my friend did for the first time) and can check out hot girls on the walkway.

But, alas, the vantage point from the mitt did not bode well for the Giants. The Cubs depleted line-up, without Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano or the newly suspended Milton Bradley managed to outhit the Giants and scratched across runs against Lincecum in the 6th and 7th inning.

After a dominating first half of the season and starting the all-star game for the NL, Lincecum has been just 4-5 since the break. He has still been very good in the 2nd half of the season, but just hasn't been the dominating pitcher the Giants needed him to be to have a chance at the playoffs. Tim is an ace, there's no question about that. But he needed to maintain his untouchable form, to play at an insane level, and has fallen short.

He pitched well against the Cubs, only giving up 2 runs on 6 hits with 7 Ks through 7. But you'd think that he could do better against such a weak line-up, and the Cubs squared him up for some solid hits.

My expectations are too high, and there is a ton of pressure on Tim to be lights out every start, but he just hasn't had the magic after the all-star break Giants have grown accustomed to.

Don't let any of this misguide you, however. Lincecum will probably get a few Cy Young votes, and leads the NL with 254 strikeouts and is 2nd in E.R.A at 2.47. But he only has 14 wins because of the anemic SF offense. Lincecum has pitched 8 games this year while giving up 2 ERs or less and not gotten a win.

I had forgotten about how good Zambrano can be. It was just last year that he threw a no-hitter against the Astros. I thought, he's good, but he's inconsistent and lets his emotions get the better of him. But last night, he was unhittable, only giving up 2 hits while throwing a complete game shut-out. He struck out 8 and finished the game in under 100 pitches.

Posey went 0-3 with 2 Ks.

Randy Johnson pitched the 9th and gave up a run on a Zambrano single. There were flash bulbs when Randy was pitching because this might be his last year.

Before the game Matt Cain won the Willie Mac Award, which awards the organizations most inspirational player.

The picture is from http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/index.jsp?c_id=sf in the photo gallery.

Wokai and Tobias Wolff

Clockwise from left: Tobias Wolff's book of short stories Our Story Begins, the Wokai logo and Casey Wilson, the CEO of Wokai.

9/21/09

Visit http://www.wokai.org/ for more information.

I went to a lecture about a Chinese microfinancing company during lunch today without much excitement. My parents were kind of pressuring me to go and I needed the extra credit my Mandarin teacher was offering for my attendance. I made a quick sandwich at the cafeteria and slid into my seat.

The following 40 minute presentation way exceeded my expectations. Casey Wilson, the founder and CEO of Wokai, talked about her experience with a Chinese microfinancing company.

First things first, let me explain what microfinancing is. Microfinancing is basically giving a small loan to help people start a business. This is not charity like aid efforts in Africa. Microfinancing empowers the people because it allows them help themselves and over time become financially sustainable. The people who take out credit then pay back the loan without much interest.

Casey Wilson traveled to China, already fluent after only 2 years of rigorous studying. She can thank Middlebury's Chinese summer language program for that. She knew she wanted to get involved in helping rural farmers through microfinancing, and had a friend who was already involved. So she started Wokai, which means "I start" in Chinese, to help the poor rural Chinese citizens.

Despite China's economy's rapid growth, all of that wealth is concentrated in the cities, so the rich get richer while the poor stay poor. There is no way for the poor to eliminate that huge wealth gap without the help of small loans from nonprofits like Wokai.

Wokai receives online contributions and volunteers distribute the money to the appropriate farmers, pig and duck raisers, rice wine makers etc. along with teaching them skills like balancing a checkbook.

In the past these rural citizens had no access to credit from banks because it wasn't worth it for the banks to travel out into the countryside and loan negligible amounts of money, the banks didn't think the people would repay the loan and many of the borrowers were illiterate.

Despite not having assets to back up the price of not paying back a loan, a system of trust within the borrowers has worked remarkably well. Borrowers form a community where if one person cannot pay back a loan, others cover for him/her. If the loan is not paid back, then that borrowing community loses its privilege to borrowing. This system has had around a 98% rate of paying back the loan + interest.

Wokai is similar to Kiva, another microfinancing company started just a little while ago. Kiva is less grassroots than Wokai, mainly because Kiva has grown quickly. In Wokai, your contribution is permanent, you do not get your money back. Once your loan is repaid you get to choose who you want to reallocate the money to. In Kiva you have the option of getting your money back.

Some important statistics: 800,000,000 people in China do not have access to credit.

300,000,000 people live below the poverty line. Only a $150 dollar microfinance loan will change a person's life.

Right now, Wokai makes it money through large donations and a voluntary fee that users can pay to the company. Once Wokai has 50,000 contributors, these voluntary donations will make the company sustainable.

Last Thursday 9/17 renowned fiction and short story write Tobias Wolff came in and talked to the entire upper school. Everyone had read Wolff's collection of short stories called Our Story Begins over the summer.

I really enjoyed Tobias Wolff's book. His stories ranged from a story about a father who killed his son to save hundreds, (The Night in Question) to a hunting trip going horribly wrong (Hunters in the Snow) to a cynical book critic getting shot for mouthing off during a bank robbery.

Besides the variety of the stories, I found myself actually enjoying short stories for once. Usually, when we read short stories in English class, I never understand them, dislike them and am forced to annotate them and occasionally write a paper. With Wolff's book, I had no pressure to look deeper and could just enjoy his masterful prose. And because of my interest in the stories, I actually found myself wanting to analyze the stories.

Mr. Wolff is a man who can command $10,000 per appearance and is a world famous writer. He agreed to talk at Menlo for free, coming over from his usual teaching gig at Stanford. I was expecting a crotchety, egotistical man. And I wouldn't have minded if he was a jerk, after all, he is one of the most prominent fiction writers right now, he gets cut some slack for being a big deal. But Toby seemed to be a genuinely nice guy, make funny jokes and seemed to have a limitless amount captivating stories. He was one of those guys, as my friend AnSan put perfectly, "He just seems like the old guy next door who you invite over for dinner and is just so sick." I was also digging his walrus mustache, it made him seem less intimidating.

The next 4 things are tips that Toby said to help you become a better writer.

1. OK to imitate writers and their styles

When Mr. Wolff was a kid, he loved Jack London and sometimes copied London's stories. He mimicked his writing style when he was just learning how to write and it helped him to establish his own voice and identity as a writer. Tobias encouraged this imitation of your favorite authors and their styles when you're just getting started. Don't be afraid, and make sure to distinguish this imitation from plagiarism, to imitate.

2. Become a better writer through reading

Every writer has to be a reader and reading for pleasure is awesome, it seemed like Tobias

Wolff had read every book that had very been made. But he suggested maybe rereading

some of your favorite books and noting what it is exactly that makes the writing so good. Learn

from reading and use that help you become a better writer.

3. Infuse your writing with personal memories

Toby went off on a rant about how authors were blurring the line between memoirs

and fiction. Memoirs are strictly fact while fiction can be based on a true story, but once

the story strays from the truth, it becomes fiction. I think some memoir have been rubbing

him the wrong way.

Anyway, back to the point. One's writing is made so much better and more vivid when

your personal memories are inserted into the story. He talked about how one of his favorite

authors, Leo Toolstoy, used an event that happened in his life, and took it to the next step.

He bridged the gap between what happened, and then let his imagination take off to create

a great short story.

4. Writing won't be perfect the first time

Tobias Wolff made a big point about how writing is so much more enjoyable when you

don't put pressure on yourself to make everything sound perfect right off the bat. This

happens to me when I write; I freeze up because the words just aren't quite the way I want

them to be in my first draft. But he said just get your thoughts down, plop them onto the page

because it will get better and better as you re-work them and edit. Don't worry about everything

being perfect, with time the writing will get better, and the writer will be all the more happy

for it.

Picture URLs:

http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/profile2/wokai

http://www.flickr.com/photos/menlophoto/3946828684/

http://blog.syracuse.com/shelflife/2009/03/tobias_wolff_wins_story_prize.html

1st Place!

Clockwise from top left:

Coach Jim Harbaugh, Stanford players coming out of the tunnel, no need for another Singletary tirade in the Seahawks game again and Gore busting off a big TD run

9/21/09

Weekend football recap:

This was a great weekend in terms of football for myself. The Menlo JV football team got its first win of the season and varsity also won. JV won 6-0 over Justin Siena on a trick play running back pass. Congratulations to them.

I also attended the home openers for both the Stanford Cardinal and the San Francisco 49ers with some friends. Stanford won a blowout over San Jose State University 42-17 and the 49ers beat the Seattle Seahawks 23-10.

Alas, not all can be well as my fantasy football team continued its ineptitude through week 2 and I managed only 77 points.

49ers vs. Stanford:

Both games were a lot of fun and both teams offer their personal pros and cons in terms of game experience. The 9ers are, first and foremost, a professional NFL team and the level of play is the highest. There's also something fun about making the commute up to the City and the energy at 9ers games is much higher than at Stanford games. My friends and I were being obnoxious and yelling "9ers! 9ers!" the whole time, just like all the other drunk college fellows. Good stuff. And lastly, my favorite sports players are professional, so I can root just a little harder for those guys at 49ers games. That means my boy Patrick Willis and Frank Gore get a lot of love.

In a way though, going to a Cardinal football game is just as fun for me as going to a 49ers game. The tickets are way cheaper, you can get great tickets for $45 to a Stanford game while average tickets are $100 to a 49ers game. Add in $20 parking passes and Stanford games are much for reasonable. Another big factor is location. I live in Palo Alto and it takes me only 15 minutes to ride my bike to the football stadium. It can also be nice going to a more low key game if you don't want to have to stand up every 3rd down and kill your lungs shouting.

Stanford game:

Chris Owusu set the tone with a TD return on the opening kickoff and the Cardinal never looked back while rolling to a 42-17 victory over now 0-3 SJSU. Gerhart continued his solid season with typical Toby style smash mouth running and scored 2 TDs to complement his 113 rushing yards. Stanford also scored TDs on an INT return for a TD by Corey Gatewood and CB/punt returner Richard Sherman also contributed a punt return TD.

Stanford's easy victory helped take some pressure off of redshirt freshman Andrew Luck, who threw a TD pass to Owusu and only had to attempt 12 passes.

The defensive line got a lot of pressure on the SJSU QBs and combined for 6 sacks, 3 coming from DE Will Powers. The Stanford D also held the Spartans to 24 rushing yards on the night.

The only downside to the performance was 4 turnovers, which led to all 17 Spartan points.

Gerhart's 1 yard TD run put the game out of reach by making it 21-7 in the 2nd quarter and sparked a 23-8 Cardinal scoring run.

The Cardinal face the Washington Huskies at home next week at 6. The Huskies took down #3 ranked USC 16-13.

49ers game:

After a disappointing week 1 rushing performance where the 49ers averaged under a yard per carry, Frank Gore rippped off TD runs of 78 and 80 yards to lead the 9ers to past the division rival Seahakws in a 23-10 victory.

The 49ers are now in sole possession of 1st place in the NFC West with a 2-0 record.

Gore's first run gave the 9ers a 10-0 lead in the 1st quarter. His 80 yard run was the first play of the 2nd half and secured the game for the 9ers, giving them a 20-10 lead.

Frank now joins elite company with Barry Sanders as 1 of 2 players to have 2 TD runs of at least 75 yards in a game.

Nedney kicked 3 field goals and the defense was stout, only allowing a 1 yard TD pass to Julius Jones.

Shaun Hill was solid, but not spectacular and passed 26 times for 144 yards.

The defense could have gotten more pressure on the QB, getting only 1 sack. But you could say it got to Matt Hasselbeck because Patrick Willis's hard hit caused Hasselbeck to miss the 2nd half.

Frank Gore will have a tougher run defense as the 49ers travel to Minnesota next week and play the Vikings at 10 AM pacific time.

Photo citations:

http://www.stanfordphoto.com/albums.php?albumId=51754

http://www.49ers.com/news-and-events/article-1/Gore-Runs-Away-From-Seattle/43c03717-d3e3-479a-973c-8d734349ab65

http://www.49ers.com/media-gallery/photo-gallery/Week-2-Seattle-Seahawks/cde13bec-81b2-4984-8703-7e702a02a44c

False Memory: Getting Punched

It was a classic game of pick-up basketball during lunch in elementary school. After eating part of a mushy peanut butter and jelly sandwich, eating my cookie and throwing away the apple (so when Lisa checked my lunch she thought I ate it) I hurled my lunch box back towards the classroom and sprinted out to play. I was in second grade and our lunchtime activities consisted of basketball, football, hide and go seek tag, four square and handball. It was a glorious time, elementary school recess.

It began like any other basketball game. The game started with us yelling “first captain, second captain!” to determine the teams. Poor little Ben was always picked last, but that’s just the way it went. It was a huge game with around fifteen pipsqueaks clamoring for the ball and clumped into a big circle. We played on an eight foot hoop; we knew that in a couple years we would get to play on the ten foot hoops, but now was not our time.

My bud Tony and I formed a formidable duo and quickly excluded our teammates as we got into a scoring rhythm. The other team had Owen, Will and AJ, who weren’t too shabby themselves. It started out like a normal game with Biz packing Ben, Tony traveling every time he shot, Clay being a ball hog and Kevin ripping the ball away on defense.

Andre drained a long shot over Peter and punctuated it with an emphatic “Oooohh!” A possession later he hit another deep shot and yelled again.

“Peter, switch with Ethan on defense,” I yelled, trying to shake things up a bit.

Andre hit shot after shot and grew more annoying with each “In your face!” he yelled after making each one. Angry at my teammates for letting AJ run wild over us, and even more angry at AJ for being obnoxious, I guarded him. As the play progressed I drifted away from him trying to help out a teammate, only to frantically close out as Andre loosed another long shot from the left corner. It was a perfect swish.

“Oh! Oh! You can’t stop me!” he yelled as he ran across the black top gloating.

“Shut up, Andre!” I replied and ran towards him. I shoved him hard in the chest and he staggered backward. He gave me a blank stare and then started towards me. I could tell what he was going to do, but didn’t think he had the nerve to do it. He popped me in the chin.

The game stopped and the bell rang right after that. We all ran back to class. For the rest of the day I anxiously waited for my name to be called over the class intercom, asking me to report to the principal Ms. Malen’s office. But no such call came and neither of us got in trouble.

Questions on Nightingale

1. What does the button symbolize?

2. What happens to Owen?

3. Is Fort Steele Academy more foreboding than we think? Is it some creepy sort of kidnap / murder house?

4. What is the military academy actually and what does it represent?

5. Why is Owen so submissive when he seems to realize the truth behind his dad's reasoning?

6. False imagery is a big theme in Nightingale, but what is the most important image or memory to the story?

49ers Debut

9/14/09

My boy Patrick Willis had 13 tackles (11 solo) and an INT. Frank Gore after his 2nd TD of the game.

The San Francisco 49ers (last year 7-9) started off 09-10 season strong with a 20-16 road victory against the defending NFC champions and division rivals, Arizona Cardinals. Despite average numbers and a pedestrian first half Shaun Hill led a 4th quarter comeback and the defense stopped the potent Cardinals defense to seal the game.

Gore hauled in the deciding TD on a 3rd and goal play at the 3 and strolled into the end zone untouched. Despite a horrendous rushing performance by Gore and the 49ers in general, Frank managed a 6 yd rushing TD in the 2nd quarter to go with his receiving TD. It seems clear that the 49ers are committed to the run. Despite a lack of success in their opener the 49ers fate will depend on Frank Gore winning games for them.

The 49ers put a lot of pressure on Kurt Warner, forcing 2 INTs (Willis and Clements) and workhorse Justin Smith had a great game. He constantly was harassing Warner and ended the game emphatically with a sack and forced fumble on Warner.

Now focusing on individual players. Vernon Davis made some nice catches (4) on the final drive to set up Gore's catch and Isaac Bruce had a long catch to set up Gore's first rushing TD.

For Arizona Tim Hightower had a great game receiving, catching 12 for 121 yards. It was partly due to the 49ers excellent coverage of Fitzgerald and Bolding, limiting them to 71 yards and a TD and 2 catches for 19 yards.

Pic citations:

http://www.49ers.com/news-and-events/article-1/49ers-Start-Season-1-0/2c261810-9842-48ab-9f7e-302aac0201c2

Real, Accelerated and Slow Time (Tobias / Hunter's)

"Puzzled, I straightened up and looked into his eyes, yearning to see his true self again."

Kenny lifted his hunting rifle toward me and said, "I hate you."

"Kenny wai..."

The gun spat in the crisp winter air and I gasped sharply as the bucket hit me. It entered in my right shoulder, tearing through my thick coat as easily as fingers through wet paper.

I fell backward, my butt hitting the hard packed snow. I looked down, but felt its presence before I saw the damage.

Warm blood slowly poked its way to the surface, its flow slowed by all the chipped and mangled bones.

Despite this not being a life threatening situation my cowardice prevailed and my thoughts took off.

The first time I met my first love and now ex-wife. I had been at the gym and Jane was just another person trying to keep fit. She had gently touched my shoulder, the one now with the bullet in it. Her mouth said "Hi," but her eyes spoke much more about her compassion and warmth.

Should I tell Jane? Am I going to even see her again? Will she give me a second chance? Will she even want to see me? My thoughts spiraled out of control unnecessarily.

I looked up at Frank. Poor guy, he loved a babysitter. A 16-year old babysitter. Was just plumb mad over over her. He was bound to screw up, do something rash, illegal, shameful with her. Life hadn't been kind to Frank either. His mom had fallen asleep at the wheel while driving to see him and he had been just laid off. I mean, look who he was hanging out with. A lard boy and a homicidal jerk. I don't know what it was about a sudden physical injury that made me so empathetic.

Zoom-in Scene Tobias Wolff Sentence

"The bullet went in between the dog's eyes," (Wolff Hunter's in the Snow 26). His head snapped back and the dog was flung on its side. It let out a heart wrenching whimper as it died and its previously fiery yellow eyes misted over into a soft gray.

Kenny's shot was true and there was little blood, but the dog's head was warm and slick from the slow trickle.

The dog was facing me and its blood burned a hole in the snow. The blood was not in contrast to the dull whites, grays, browns and greens of the landscape. A pale grayish blue, the blood seemed in a hurry to become a part of its surroundings. Almost as if it were getting out of the way to bring our attention back to the dog.

Kenny's face changed in an instant from a mask of macho anger to a look of doubt and surprise. Just as quickly he regained control over himself and wore an ugly sneer. But I had seen it. Even under that false pretense of indifference Kenny was not as jaded as one might think. In that instant he had shown a softness I hadn't seen in the ten years I had known him.

Puzzled, I straightened up and looked into his eyes, yearning to see his true self again.

And that was when he lifted his shotgun towards me and said, "I hate you."

Steelers vs. Titans

9/10/09

After months of waiting for the NFL to start it is finally here. No more combines, drafts, pre-season, rookie holdouts (not liking Michael Crabtree right now) or fantasy football drafts. The glorious game has arrived.

Two defensive powerhouses, the Steelers and Titans square off in the kickoff game on Thursday night. The Titans have a brutal matchup against the defending Super Bowl champs, against the best defense in the league and in Pittsburgh.

Right now both teams are locked at a 10-10 score in OT. With the types of defenses on the field, it's no surprise.

The Steelers tied up the game with a late field goal and had the game seemingly locked up when Hines Ward caught a long pass with around a minute left. He was at the 4 yard line and just had to go down and the Steelers would have won with a field goal easily. But he fumbled and the Titans recovered, forcing overtime.

Now I don't like the Steelers; they're boring, their defense is swarming and their offense is average at best. But Hines Ward, there's no way you can dislike him. I felt so bad for him when he fumbled. He's always smiling, works his butt off, is undersized, caught that TD pass off a flea flicker in the Steelers' 5th Super Bowl win and isn't afraid to get into it and knock a defender on his butt. I also personally like him because he's half Korean.

But that doesn't matter much now because the Steelers won the flip, marched down field and Jeff Reed drilled the game winning field goal.

Classic Steelers ball. Dominating defense and Big Ben engineering an impressive drive late in the game.

pic citations

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/2005-07-31-notebook_x.htm

http://www.pghsports.com/2005-Issues/psr0501/05010103.html

Madison Bumgarner

Pics from http://sanfrancisco.giants.mlb.com/team/player.jsp?player_id=518516

9/9/09

I'd like to applaud the Giants most prized minor league pitching prospect Madison Bumgarner. Bumgarner showed remarkable poise and calm by going 5 1/3 innings with 2 ER and 4 Ks against the Padres. He was thrust into his debut start in a meaningful September game without knowing in advance that he was pitching. Only because of Tim Lincecum's lower back inflammation did Bumgarner pitch.

He was called up to the bigs after a sub 2.00 ERA in the minors this year. The 6'4", 215 lb lefty hails from Hickory, NC and was selected 10th overall by the Giants in 2007. And remember, this guy was drafted out of high school and is only 20. Would be like a sophomore or junior in college right now.

Of course, nobody is perfect, and especially not a rookie. Bumgarner naturally showed signs nervousness and when he missed the strike zone he missed badly. However he made only 2 mistakes in his debut giving up 2 solo homers.

It also seemed like Bumgarner wasn't throwing much besides fastballs. His high 80s low 90s heaters seemed to float into the zone a little and I didn't see much of an offspeed.

Also doesn't it seem like Madison could throw a lot harder? He motion is kind of herky jerky and seems to glide instead of driving off his back leg.

But I shouldn't be nitpicky, he gave the Giants an excellent performance in his first start. I hope it's the start of an auspicious career para los gigantes.

Montana

9/8/09

I had one of the best Labor Day weekends of my life in Montana at a friend's ranch. We flew out Friday afternoon and ate dinner in Bozeman at the Emerson Grill. I was introduced to flatbread pizza and observed a Christian meeting filled with a Simon Says drum circle and weird dancing moms.

The next day I herded cattle. Yep, you heard me. Herded cattle. Just like a real cowboy straight outa Palo Alto. Having barely ridden a horse before I trotted, cantered and whooped as we moved those behemoths across the ranch. I felt awkward shouting at the cows to let them feel my presence, but a more experienced cowboy cracked a whip and shouted "Party's over, let's go cows!" I manned the right flank and kept a watchful eye on any unruly cows looking to deviate from the pack. Basically, I walked along the road on the right watching everyone else herd the cows.

Oh, a nice sight was seeing a baby cow getting milk from its mom only to have mommy squirt liquidy excrement on its face. Real nice.

Herding cattle was so much more fulfilling than a normal horsie ride because there was a purpose and I actually got to ride fast. When I've ridden on horses before I only walked because I hadn't ridden much before. In retrospect, riding horses really isn't that hard.

I hiked to Gobbler's Knob after the ride and had a grilled steak and salmon meal for dinner. Despite being on a 100,000 acre ranch everyone took the time to honor a glorious American tradition. Watching college football. For the rest of the night we ripped on the sole Cal fan as his team demolished the hapless Terps of Maryland. Somehow the association of Cal cheating got extrapolated to an offsides penalty on the Cal defense.

"Look, they cheat so much they even cheat while playing football. Look at them jump offside!"

My friend and I played a game of Monopoly that night, a personal fav of mine. Being an experienced vet, I dominated. Being the loser, my friend pointed out that I had landed on Free Parking 3 times and that of the 10 chance / community chest cards I drew, they all ended up paying me around $100 each. Hmmmm. Maybe I'm not quite as much of a Monopoly genius as I thought.

After 10 hours of sleep my friend, his dad and myself went mountain biking. It was my first time and I was in for more than I bargained for. We were gone for 5 hours, went 15-20 miles, gained at least 3,000 ft. of elevation, bushwacked after losing the trail and I crashed and fell into a creek. But it was also very fun and a great experience. The climbs were grueling; I was in gear 1'1, the easiest gear, for a lot of the time and I had to get off and walk the bike multiple times. I plowed through cow shit at a high speed and sprayed turds on my leg.

We stopped at Cabin Creek, pronounced "crick" by cowboys and rested, ate and fished. Instead of heading back to the ranch we continued heading away from the ranch through Elk Park. There were awesome downhills and I chased cattle along the road on my bike. The cows were dumb and clopped along the road where I could continue pursuing instead of taking two steps off the road, where I would leave them alone.

This is where we got lost and spirits were not high. I was bonking from a lack of food and it was tough work walking the bike through chest high grass. Thankfully my friend's mom showed up on horseback. It didn't really mean much, but allowed a long break to eat and drink and sit in the shade. Good thing we had two brutal climbs right after our break.

My butt and wrists were sore from being in the saddle and getting jolted around and I have two matching blisters on the sides of my thumbs. Gnarly.

Despite my bitching the bike ride was one of the most fun parts of the trip. It's just easier to point out the negatives and setbacks than articulate the positives. I think actually the overall toughness of the ride was probably what made it so much fun. Experiences like those are great to look back on and reflect.

If the ride was the best day activity, that night's meal was the best dinner. A family friend treated us to all you can eat pizza night at a restaurant in Livingston. The whole way home he was commenting on how he'll remember how much I ate and how I got the most value for my meal. I had 11 slices, yep 11. And I could have eaten more, but I was feeling awkward because everyone else was long done and was clearly ready to leave. Broccoli, red onion, gouda and olive oil pizza. Steak and sliced jalapeño. Caramelized onion and sausage. Pepperoni. Chicken pesto. It was so good.

And I can't leave out the ping pong. That made up the most 1 on 1 time with my friend of the trip. We played 39 games of ping pong to 21 over 3 days. Both of us got much better and both of us being extremely competitive, lost our tempers on numerous occasions. It was so close the winner won 20 games to 19. There was smack talk, groans of disappointment, quiet fist pumps after a big point, rallies with both players way behind the table, sweating, demoralizing losses, huge slams, cracked balls and pleasure over great ping pong.

Thanks so much for a great weekend. I appreciate you guys inviting me up to the ranch.

Lies in My Own Life

9/8/09

For English hw

There are many lies in my own life, but not nearly as many as Frederic from The Chameleon. I like to think that most of them are to protect others or aren't bad lies. I told a lie some time ago about why I wasn't with a friend. We had been playing extremely competitive ping pong and when tempers on both sides got high I decided to walk away. Stumbling upon his parent sleeping on the couch I fumbled over a simple, but believable lie to explain why we weren't together. Alas, parents have been around for a while and figured out why I was reading alone upstairs why he was relaxing with a musical instrument.

I think it is more common for people to lie to themselves than lying to others. We lie internally all the time ranging from "That can't be my alarm clock this early," to "I'm pretty sure I did not cheat off that girl's test last period," to "No, he can't possibly be dead." Ok, some of these are hypothetical, but the important thing to realize is that the majority of lies to ourself are when we know the truth and don't want to face the consequences. It is easy for morals to get lost inside our conscience because we aren't checking ourselves and it's easy to slip and not have good character. It can be easy to push an uncomfortable truth back into the recesses of our brain and say you'll deal with it later.

A common lie I allow myself to believe is when people tell me that I am better at something than I actually am. They may not directly say it, but I can tell they want me to know they think I am good. I can tell it's not the truth (notice I didn't say it was a lie) by how often they repeat things and by my own personal observances. I allow myself to believe the lie despite my knowledge of what may or may not be true because I (and everyone else in the world I believe) like to hear my personal talents and am easily disillusioned if someone wants to praise me. I may know deep down I may not be as good as they say, but it is much easier to live happily ignorant than with the truth depressing you. It's just like pushing the uncomfortable truth to the back of the mind.

Cat's Cradle Homework Assignment Satire

Ah, the irony of teachers. They pore over books their whole academic life in order to receive a little slip of paper from a prestigious university. But what does this actually mean? That they somehow are enlightened and may spread their lies and infect other vulnerable people? When all that they learn is lies, who gives them the authority to spread this so called "knowledge?"

It is downright shameful to lecture about this blasphemy behind a pretense of wisdom and experience. Teachers should be punished for believing that all of their foma is useful and pertinent in the modern world.

But, we shouldn't harp on the teachers that much. Some of their lies will actually be truth and us students will remember those tidbits of advice and they will aid us in our careers. Hey, maybe teachers actually do some good for us. Each of us inevitably has a teacher or two that changed them for the better and that remains etched in their mind for the remainder of their life.

But, then again, most teachers just teach us lies that, thankfully, go in one ear and out the other and we students don't have to be burdened by this misleading guidance.

Stanford football, giants baseball

9/2/09

I read in the San Jose Mercury News that Toby Gerhart plans on rushing for 2,000 yards this year. Toby, you're sick because the name Toby is cool, you're good at both football and baseball and you run guys over. But sorry, your logic of 25 carries / game + 6 yards / carry + 13 games = almost 2,000 yards just doesn't quite cut it.

If Stanford makes a bowl this year, and I so desperately want them to, it will be because they take advantage of a pattycake schedule in September, take care of business and beat ASU in potentially the most important game of the year for the Cardinal and then hang on for the remainder of the season. They have to beat WSU, SJSU, UW, UCLA and UA to get to 5 victories before their match-up with the Sun Devils. These are all very winnable games and if they don't lose one of these 5 games then they would have to beat Oregon, USC, Cal or Notre Dame in their last 4 games. Lots of people have Oregon as a dark horse for the Pac-10 title, USC is, well, USC and Jahvid best could run wild over Stanford.

WSU is just awful, a must win game, SJSU is very winnable, UW has a solid underrated QB in Jake Locker, UCLA beat Stanford last year in an excruciatingly painful loss which kept the Cardinal from a bowl, and UA is always tough.

The Giants got a great game from Brad Penny in his debut for the Giants Wednesday in Philly. After being cut by the Red Sox after a 7-8 record and an ERA over 5, Penny put up 8 sparkling innings of 0 runs, 5 hits and did a great job of pitching to contact while striking out 2. Penny could just pitch 5 or 6 decent innings each start and would be a huge contribution to the Giants post season hopes. With Randy Johnson coming back later and with diminished velocity in the bullpen the Giants need someone to step up. Penny doesn't even have to be that good and could have an impact.

In a way, this was not a conventional Giants win as they managed to get, what, more than 2 runs in a game? No way? What's that you say? 2, not 1, but 2 HRs? Ridiculous.

Uribe hit a 2 run jack on a 1-2 hanging curve and launched it, with a typical still enormous 2 strike swing and a flip of the bat once he knew it was gone. And it was a bomb. Rowand then managed to turn on an inside fastball and lined a HR out right after Uribe.

Let's give credit though to Andres Torres, who ultimately had the game winning RBI with a line drive up the middle to score Schierholtz from second. He fouled off tons of pitches and made Happ work.